Welcome to MY Mansion, bitches!

It’s a-me, and I ain’t no fat, red hatted dwarf. You know who I am? Lu-fukken-Igi, and I’ve finally been given my very own platform upon which to speak. The Morphine Nation has seen fit to give Luigi the respect he fukken deserves, and I say it’s about damn time. For this brand new subsite, I would like to thank Nintendo, and I would like to thank my bro-

Hey, wait a second… fuck Nintendo, and fuck my brother. Y’know, Mario may be known as “Mr. Nintendo”, but to me he’s known as Mr….. Faggot or something. While he’s getting all the breaks, what do I get? The only breaks I experience are in my fukken heart, and the only breaks Mario deserves are in his fukken neck. And spinal column, that’d rule. How is he more marketable than me, HOW? How does Nintendo see fit to grant him Super Mario Sunshine, while I’m stuck with my piece of shit game about motherfukken ghosts in vaccuum cleaners. Well… The bullshit ends, and it ends now. Luigi is the superior Mario brother, and he’s one angry fukken Italian.

Welcome to my section of Morphine Nation, filled with heartwarming, open letters to my fellow Nintendo superstars who GET ALL THE FUKKEN PRAISE THAT’S MEANT FOR ME, and do take some time to learn all about the new religion that was erected in my honour, Luigism. Seeya!

Your ever-loving,
Luigi Mario